by Friends of Godwin


What we do in relationships is we put others on pedestals and when people fall from those pedestals, then we get hurt, we get disappointed, we get angry. And guilt arises when we have put ourselves on pedestals and then when we fall from that pedestal, we feel bad, we feel guilty. So the whole practice is to understand how these wounds have been created.

Maybe another point is that when you meet such a person, it’s a very interesting opportunity; perhaps one can really play with it. Can you see that person who you are angry with as if for the first time, without the image you have been holding onto since you have been angry with them? It is very interesting how we relate to people through these old images that we have about ourselves and others. So we project these images onto others and this is how certain emotions can arise. As I said, it is a very interesting exercise to see if you can see such a person as if for the first time, then you realize you relate to him in an entirely different way.

Maybe another suggestion that comes to my mind is to try to see such people as our teachers, as spiritual friends, because they have enabled us through their behaviour to realize how wounds are created, and through that realization to learn to heal them. So if you can really feel grateful to such people, then again you will be relating to them in an entirely different way. They are our real gurus.