Parents might also have been victims who have had a lot of difficulties. In this connection I heard a very moving story from a woman I was working with. She told me she had had a very difficult childhood. Especially from her mother there were physical and psychological wounds. It was terrible what she had had to go through as a child, and as an adult she completely lost contact with her mother. She told me that what had happened in childhood had really affected her personality and her behaviour.
When this woman was about fifty years old she thought: “Maybe I should try to contact my mother.” She made inquiries and heard that her mother was living in a home for old people. She made contact and she met her mother. When she saw her mother for the first time after fifteen years, she hugged her and said: “I love you, Mother.” The mother didn’t say anything but broke into a lot of tears, she was really crying. Then the daughter asked her mother: “Why can’t you say that you love me also?” Her mother replied: “How can I say that? I have never known what love is.” When the daughter heard those words, the wound she had been carrying for fifty years immediately healed. So sometimes, you see, we don’t realise what our parents have been through.